McCain Campaign Resorts to Despicable Theft

In what is perhaps the most depraved and desperate act of attempted political sabotage to date, the Albuquerque chapter of the John McCain Presidential Campaign engaged in outright theft on or about the evening of October 14th. Yes, the rumors are true, and I have found myself at the epicenter of an election season scandal sure to have rippling effects throughout this important battleground state, and thus the country as a whole.

They stole my motherfucking Obama sign.

I'm not sure who did it exactly, but I'm fairly certain that it was either John McCain himself, or his evil harpy henchwoman, Sarah Palin. They had the motive, they had the opportunity. As far as I know, neither one has an alibi. I mean, sure if I did some kind of "research" or "googled it" or whatever I could probably find some sure-to-be-made=up story about a speech one of them gave somewhere or a fundraiser or debate preparation or blah-blah-blah, but come on! Who can't see through those flimsy excuses?

Besides, just look at the guy-